The Uncommon Leader Podcast

From Invisible Dresses to Best-Selling Author and Marketing Expert - Ella Parlor

• John Gallagher

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Ella Parlor, a strategic marketing expert and author, joins us to share her fascinating journey from a creative child selling "invisible dresses" to becoming a leading figure in the world of alcohol marketing. Her story is a testament to the power of creativity and innovation, revealing how these early lessons shaped her understanding of building emotional connections with consumers. Ella's insights highlight the importance of understanding industry rules, especially in the highly regulated alcohol market, and how these lessons can extend to broader business practices.

Throughout our conversation, Ella draws from her book, "High Tolerance: The Intoxicating World of Alcohol Marketing," to explore the delicate balance between financial success and personal legacy. We unpack her strategies for scaling businesses, emphasizing the importance of hiring the right team to focus on long-term growth. For business owners aiming to surpass the $10 million mark, Ella offers a fresh perspective on the critical decision-making involved in choosing between building a legacy and pursuing aggressive scalability.

Ella also shares her personal journey of maintaining balance through daily habits and effective marketing strategies. From morning affirmations to walking conversations, she demonstrates how integrating movement into daily routines can enhance personal well-being. Her unique blend of personal branding and marketing expertise underscores the power of authenticity and storytelling, encouraging leaders to embrace challenges and push through discomfort to achieve meaningful success. This episode is packed with wisdom and humor, offering practical advice for leaders and innovators seeking to make a genuine impact.

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Speaker 1:

And that's when I started writing my book and I decided okay, I think there needs to be a little bit more honesty about what's happening to us as business leaders, because I know plenty of people who have extreme financial success and are spiritually and emotionally bankrupt, or their physical shape is just completely out of whack because they've neglected sleep, proper diet and so forth.

Speaker 2:

Hey Uncommon Leaders, welcome back. This is the Uncommon Leader Podcast and I'm your host, john Gallagher. Today I'm joined by the amazing Ella Parler. Ella is an author, entrepreneur and a strategic marketing expert. In this episode, ella shares her insights on scaling business, maintaining balance and overcoming challenges. She discusses the importance of delegation, the conflict between financial gain and personal legacy, and her own personal self-philosophy for holistic well-being. You're not going to want to miss that. Plus hear Ella's hilarious childhood story and insights from her book High Tolerance. Let's get started. Hello Parler, welcome to the Uncommon Leader Podcast. It's so great to have you on the show today. How are you doing?

Speaker 1:

I'm doing really well, John. How are you today?

Speaker 2:

I am very good, thank you, and I'm looking forward. Well, john, how are you today? I am very good, thank you, and I'm looking forward to our conversation. I knew I should have had the record button on when we got started. We've already talked about many things that are going to be talked about again, but I'm truly excited about our conversation today. But, having said that, first we're going to talk about your book, but I'm going to ask you the first question I always ask my first-time guests, and that's to tell me a story from your childhood that still impacts who you are today as a person or as a leader.

Speaker 1:

I love this story and I love this question. I actually told this story in my book, so I'm excited to echo it and maybe elaborate on some of the business lessons learned. Some of the business lessons learned. But when I was five years old, in kindergarten, I started selling dresses invisible dresses in exchange for money and snacks, and something happened, unfolded. Two girls wanted the same color and I wouldn't allow it. I was like no, she already had purple, you can't have the purple invisible dress. And that turned into a fight which turned into teachers and parent teacher conference where it was explained to me that what I was doing was stealing, because I wasn't selling anything. I was just taking from people and not giving.

Speaker 1:

And I think what that lesson taught me? Because I felt so humiliated. I was going to a Catholic school and here I'm being told that I was a thief when I was creating something that someone else just some people saw the value of it and wanted to give me money or snacks. But somebody else came in and said no, this isn't real and so it's not. It's not ethical, and I think some of the takeaway lessons from that because I was filled with deep guilt and shame and embarrassment afterwards is that I think, first and foremost, understanding that when you are a creative visionary, there are just going to be some people who don't understand what you're trying to create.

Speaker 1:

And I think the second part of that would be that when you're seeking out to innovate in any industry or you're looking to disrupt an industry, you need to know the rules, because you don't want to break the wrong rules. And if you are going to break the rules, make sure you have a deep knowledge. Coming from the wine and spirit sector, the alcohol beverage industry, compliance is crucial. Everybody wants a new tequila brand, but if you don't know the deep compliance that goes into that which is what inspired my book you're going to have some. You're going to come up against some really difficult rule breaking and that involves, like the federal and state government. So those aren't really the rules you want to break.

Speaker 2:

No, no, no, exactly.

Speaker 1:

And I think the third lesson which I've definitely taken with me when building marketing campaigns is that maybe not everyone will understand your product, but what you're really selling beyond the product, is an emotional connection and a feeling. What I think that the teachers and administration didn't understand about these invisible dresses was that I was creating a particular feeling of uniqueness, coolness, fitting in whatever exclusivity right. I refuse to design a purple invisible dress for one girl because I had already done a purple for another. When you are selling a product, you're selling a lot more than that. If you want that brand loyalty and repeat buy, you're going to need to sell the feeling, the problem solving that comes with that product.

Speaker 2:

I find this story so fascinating. I smile. I went to Catholic school as well. I can't imagine what the nuns would have done Sister Baptista in first grade if we'd have tried to sell the invisible dress and I love the creativity inside of that space and trading it for service. I mean, that is some of the things that are so cool, especially, frankly, in today's influencer world that we live in. But I smile. I can't imagine. Tell me how the parents and teachers responded actually, just tell me, especially the parents.

Speaker 1:

It was a big problem. I mean especially the parents. It was a big problem. I mean it was a problem. It was truly.

Speaker 1:

I was called a thief and that wasn't the heart positioning of mine at all. I really felt like I would design these dresses in my head and I'm like, oh, this has tulle over here and I really got it from Cinderella. So, watching the fairy godmother spin Cinderella around with her wand and create this dress, I was like, well, I can do that too. And then more and more girls wanted it. And so, of course, as a child and bartering, I'm like, well, what are you going to give me? I'm sitting here spending my recess designing these dresses for you fool, my recess designing these dresses for you fool.

Speaker 1:

So, yeah, I mean, there was backlash. It was seen as unethical. My parents were disappointed about the drama. If you will, I was in kindergarten, so this is really the first impression of the Parler family at this school, and it wasn't, I don't know that all the parents really got over it in terms of how I was viewed as a, as a fellow student.

Speaker 1:

I think that there was a true belief that there was a sinister intention behind it that I was trying to take from the other students. And so, you know, I for a long time, by by the way, felt extremely ashamed of this story. Um, it wasn't until I was writing my book and trying to think what was my first business, what was the first thing I ever sold. And then I kept going backwards, and backwards, and backwards until I landed at this story in the deep archives of my memory and I, as I reflected on it, I'm like I wasn't a thief, I was a visionary. You guys just didn't get it. I was selling something, even if you couldn't see it. I was trading something. I wasn't just saying give me your stuff.

Speaker 2:

I appreciate it. I can imagine how that would stick with you for a long time afterward. Being able to turn in something you've overcome though in the space that you're in is pretty cool. We are here, though, to talk about your book high tolerance the intoxicating world of alcohol marketing. Uh, fantastic title. Uh, great cover in terms of uh, the marketing. To bring that in place as well. Who did you write this book for and why did you write it?

Speaker 1:

Oh gosh, I. I wrote this book for anybody who wants to understand the alcohol industry more. And that can be from a consumer standpoint, where you just want to understand the business of alcohol and how it impacts your daily life or your relationship with alcohol. But on the other side, as a professional in this industry, writing it for anybody who wants to start a brand, who wants to get into the industry a bartender who wants to start a brand, who wants to get into the industry, a bartender who wants to be a brand manager this book will give you a lot of the business strategies behind such a complicated, convoluted system, which is outlined in the American Constitution.

Speaker 1:

What a lot of people don't realize, as I touched upon earlier with the compliance piece, is that the rules that are established go far beyond our lifetime. These are rules that have been established through amendments in our US Constitution client space. You are going to not only amputate your efforts, you will put yourself in a financial bind by breaking rules that have really big fines. So I wanted to be able to say hey, can't afford a consultation with me. You probably don't have a marketing budget here for what we could do together. Just read this book and understand in a digestible way what getting into this industry really looks like.

Speaker 2:

Fantastic and again, I can imagine some of the organizations that you come across, regardless of even the, let's say, the rules or the guidelines or all those things that are in place that are prevented. There's other mindset issues, marketing challenges that these organizations face just to get over the hump and, as you coach them and consult with them in that space, what are some of the other big barriers then to really a successful brand or marketing implementation, whether it's in the alcohol industry or outside, even some of those that you coach outside of that industry?

Speaker 1:

Yes, this is something that I'm learning more and more as I go deeper into my own business, and it's getting out of your own way and understanding what your limitations are. If, whatever you have built, you want to scale, a lot of times that part of that scalability is going to come taking a backseat and understanding it's time to hire someone else. And when looking to hire someone else and I didn't make this metric, it's actually from a great book I read which is called how, not who, and it's the idea of hiring someone else You're not looking for your twin. If you had a twin, they would have already created your product, your brand, your business, your service, whatever you're doing, there's only one you, and so when you're hiring someone, you can't hold them to the standard that they need to be as good as you at your, we'll say, social media, brand voice or whatever some of your strengths are it's understanding about 75%. If they can get to your 75% capacity, they are worth hiring so you can have more space to ideate, grow your business, look at the bigger picture and not get in the weeds with the daily tasks that truly should be outsourced at a certain point, but working with CEOs, especially when we're jumping from that $1 to $5 million to $10 million business and really trying to grow past a $10 million business. That's when it becomes extremely clear that there are certain leadership discussions that need to be had with true professionals who have been executives. You built something great. You have a great job. Now it's time to hire talent that's going to take your business to the next level.

Speaker 1:

If that's what you want to do, if you're trying to build a legacy which is what I think a lot of business owners again my own struggle right now that I'm dealing with myself we lie to ourselves about why we built our business. We say we want scalability. We say we want to sell our business. We say that we're hoping to have a great cash buyout, an IPO, all these lofty goals. But then we want to hold on tightly to our ideas because we're really holding on to the legacy that we're hoping that our last name or our family name will have.

Speaker 1:

Well, you have to pick one or the other. If you want to build a legacy that's going to be a long-term goal, and then you have to understand that you're not going to scale at the rate that you're hoping. You're not going to sell at the rate that you're hoping. So really getting honest with ourselves is within the five years. Do I want to build a legacy or do I want to sell? Scale sell they're kind of one and the same, because one begats the other. And so understanding. This is what I'm hoping to create, and a lot of times as owners, when I'm working with CEOs, they're not as sure. There's the duality within them where they're like I don't, I don't know, I want my name to be a part of this. So I think that that's something that understanding as you grow the business, because otherwise that lack of discernment is going to permeate into other verticals of your business.

Speaker 2:

I love that. I think about that, there's no doubt. Again, I'll use the space as an entrepreneur to start, usually starting just before seven figures inside of a business and trying to teach them to get to that eight-figure side, that 10 million and beyond. They're generally not going to be able to do that on their own and one of the things that I run into the most in terms of what you're talking about how, not who, is the other side is they don't want to let go and they don't. You know, that's even that 75% person. Uh, knowing they can do something that that entrepreneur should not even be doing on their schedule, whether it's checking emails or scheduling travel or you know whatever you know, buying office supplies, whatever that is that they continue to do that because they're the best and it's easier for them to do it than to train somebody else. Huge obstacles to helping entrepreneurs overcome that. So that's the question how do you and your world, how do you help them overcome that?

Speaker 1:

Well, it's one of the biggest, I guess, surprises that I've learned in working with these brand owners is it goes back to values, right, the root of what were the values and principles and missions that you put forth when you built this business, because, a lot of the time, your answers that you're seeking are going to be in those mission and values.

Speaker 1:

Now, what will happen sometimes is those mission and values were not written down, they were not communicated, they were not vetted, they were not really an accountability tool, and so, then, it's time to revise, revisit and reiterate what are your mission and values in why you built this business. As I said earlier, you don't have to have a product that's going to save lives, but you need to be serving a purpose, a greater purpose. Not just selling something to make money, because I don't believe that will ever be a sustainable business model, but creating a service or product that is going to serve the people that need it. Serve a greater purpose, and so let's narrow our focus on what that purpose is, because that will be what guides us when things get difficult.

Speaker 2:

When you think about some of the things that go on there, especially again in that early burnout I would imagine is something that happens pretty quickly and keeps folks from getting even if they do have the vision, mission and values kind of documented inside of an organization. They're working so hard at it as an individual that they become burnout and they lose the passion for it when you're working with them and coaching them. You have talked about your CEPH philosophy to empower leaders. Tell me a little bit about that and how you also help them to be more holistic or well-rounded in their approach as well.

Speaker 1:

Yes, the CEPEP philosophy, which stands for spiritual, emotional, financial and physical, so S-E-F-P-H SEP philosophy was born out of my own necessity. I was noticing a significance imbalance where I was sacrificing some of my emotional health time with my family, time with my loved ones on the pursuit of my financial health right Working, traveling, going into meetings, working on the weekends and nights and so I created this self-philosophy for me to do an inventory on a daily basis to make sure that I am not neglecting one for the other. There needs to be a pursuit of balance. I don't believe balance is possible. We're always going to be a little out of balance, but at least being aware of it is a way that we can again maybe correct the wheel a bit. And so I was originally trying to find a way to make sure that I was really focused on my emotional health while working on my spiritual, financial and physical health as well. Where the philosophy became externally facing, meaning that I actually shared it with other individuals, was because I had a myriad of health issues ended up in the hospital, and that's when I started writing my book and I decided okay, I think there needs to be a little bit more honesty about what's happening to us as business leaders, because I know plenty of people who have extreme financial success and are spiritually and emotionally bankrupt or their physical shape is just completely out of whack because they've neglected sleep, proper diet and so forth, and I firsthand understand how easy it is to create that imbalance.

Speaker 1:

But when I find myself in a hospital staring at my feet and I'm grateful that I have the greatest care in the world I had the best doctors. This amazing doctor flew out from Israel to come take care of me. I had several surgeries but and I had a five-star meals and I was in an amazing luxury suite where celebrities go after their post-op surgery I mean, I had just about the best care that money could buy. And how much did it matter? As I'm in tremendous physical pain, as I'm alone in a hospital room, realizing I haven't created the relationships that I want in my life, and kind of going all right, I think I got really lucky. I think I got a preview of what the end of the road looks like. And what can I do to make sure that more of us feel fulfilled when we get to that end of the road, because whether we like it or not, we're all going to end up there.

Speaker 2:

So here's what it sounds like to me. Ultimately, is that some of the things that you're now teaching on, it's your experience that you've lived through that helps you to teach that Rory Vaden would say you're most powerfully positioned to help the person that you used to be. So it's the wisdom that you have and the knowledge that's there. So, realizing that balance isn't attainable, I would agree with you 100% in that. I mean, I think there are seasons that we go through that we need to be in different places, and balance would indicate that we have to spend the same amount of time in each space. It's just not possible. But what are some of the hacks, what are some of the disciplines that you have that keep you pursuing balance, whether it's in the physical side now your spiritual side, emotional, what is it? Or financial?

Speaker 1:

So I would say two new habits and new within the last few years that have helped me is morning, daily affirmations. So Bible prayer has always, has been a part of my routine just about all of my life, but normally at nighttime, so helping me rest and all of that. But then I wake up, start the day, and I'm already chaotic by the time I wake up, after a myriad of dreams or whatever sleepless night that might have preceded it. So, waking up and doing daily affirmations, not just turning to the Bible, which is, of course, an incredible source of strength for me and wisdom, but really affirming as I start my day me and wisdom, but really affirming as I start my day who am I right? Who am I? How am I showing up in the world, what are my goals, what am I doing? And so it sets that mission, that tone for the day of how I want to show up in the world, and that has been a really great way to mitigate some of the disorderly conversations or circumstances that might happen throughout the day. So if you have a disagreement at work that can be uncomfortable, you have that mantra in the back of your head of oh no, no, this is my affirmation. I know who I am, no matter what happens on the other side of this conversation.

Speaker 1:

The second piece is starting to normalize walking conversation. So, background noises, wind In my case, I have a creek by my house. So normalizing hey, I'm going to take this call, but I'm going to take a walk as well. So if it's really important, take notes, email me after the fact, whatever it is. But I cannot insist that every single call be sitting down in front of a desk. I need to normalize the idea that I'm going to. Hey, yeah, totally can take a call, but I'm going to take a walk at the same time.

Speaker 1:

This has not been always easy. Um, it means that it's harder for me to take notes, it's harder for me to be able to follow up on certain topics, so I have to remind someone else to do it. And then also that you deal with the background noise. But I'm hoping that it sends the message we must prioritize getting up from our desks, because we sit all day at work, all day in traffic, all day on the train. Getting up and getting our bodies moving so we can have a longer, lasting life, work harder, work longer and just a more sustainable lifestyle.

Speaker 2:

Hey listeners, I want to take a quick moment to share something special with you. Many of the topics and discussions we have on this podcast are areas where I provide coaching and consulting services for individuals and organizations. If you've been inspired by our conversation and are seeking a catalyst for change in your own life or within your team, I invite you to visit coachjohngallaghercom forward slash free call to sign up for a free coaching call with me. It's an opportunity for us to connect, discuss your unique challenges and explore how coaching or consulting can benefit you and your team. Okay, let's get back to the show.

Speaker 2:

All those things are so similar to what I've tried. Stacking that habit for me was that walking, that exercise with either affirmation or listening to a podcast or to your point there, having a conversation, and this fear of I'm going to miss something when I'm walking around because I don't have my journal with me, I don't have my notepad, I don't have all those things and I can't stop and take notes in the middle of a walk when I'm outside. But it's important that I get vitamin D, you know, sort of stack those habits and understand what is most important at the time. I can certainly understand that. So being an author now, was there a specific, maybe author or book that impacted you on your journey, that maybe impacted your writing style, or just something that you go to today as well From a leadership perspective.

Speaker 1:

A book that completely changed how I approach leadership was a book by Jill Geisler which was called what Effective Leaders Know Really incredible book and it aged really well. I recommended that book to several leaders. When I became a quote boss for the first time a people leader manager it wasn't because someone looked at me and thought, oh, she's going to motivate our team. It was, oh, she's the top rep and the manager left, so we'll just promote the top person next. There wasn't a lot of strategy and I think that that's how a lot of people end up in people leadership positions. That does not mean that you're equipped. Getting to the people management side goes far beyond knowing how to do their job, and I think that's one of the biggest mistakes that we make in leadership. Development is not developing those EQ leadership skills that help you create and cultivate an environment that allows your team to be the most effective. So I think that that book is incredible. It stands the test of time. I enjoy revisiting it and it just goes to the basics of like it. And it just goes to the basics of like be kind to your people.

Speaker 1:

As rudimentary as that might sound, I would say a book that probably influenced my decision to write the book was. It's a myriad of books, but one of them in particular was by Holly Whitaker and it's called Quit Like a Woman, and in the book she's talking about her journey with alcohol and it's from the context of addiction and completely going sober. But there's an entire chapter dedicated to alcohol professionals, such as myself, and marketers, and the way that we were betrayed is as evil or as wanting harm on American society, and I just didn't think it was a fair perspective. I love the work I do. I've been able to hire hundreds of people. People have been able to buy houses, provide for their family because of the leadership development that I've been able to do. I work with small American businesses.

Speaker 1:

I'm extremely proud of the work that I do in the alcohol industry and I rebuke the idea that I can't be a good human or even a Christian woman because of this, because of my position in this industry, and so that's when I kind of felt inspired like wait, there's more to the story than just oh, those people over there are evil. Can we create a new narrative? And so I appreciate her and the beautiful book that she wrote, I think for any woman who's struggling for addiction, that book could be a tremendous tool for them. But I also wanted to be able to not alienate the people who don't ascribe to that exact belief and create a broader discussion that maybe brings more of us to the table to say, okay, what is this industry, how is it impacting our daily lives, and does some of the responsibility fall on us as individuals? So we're not pointing the finger at everybody else and really taking ownership and accountability for our own relationships with alcohol.

Speaker 2:

I appreciate you sharing that in relation. You had said that even before we hit the record button that it wasn't necessarily a book about that, but that was nestled in your story with regards to how that industry can be seen as evil or however you want to look at it in terms of what is there. So we'll go back to the book a little bit, but let's stay on the marketing side of it. What are some of the strategic marketing tactics that you're kind of talking about inside that book, though, that you've experienced, you've taught that make organizations successful.

Speaker 1:

Yes, I really love the. So strategic planning is just so important. A lot of times and I talk about this because this is ironically, one of the top requests I get from brands when working with a brand there's something about a freeway billboard right those out-of-home billboards that makes a business owner feel like I made it. This is look at me, mom, I'm on the billboard and I will admit, the first time I made my freeway billboard and it was in like a big campaign, so it was a bunch of work. So by the time it went up I was just so over it. But I did have this twinge of wow, I made this and it's up on a freeway Like it does feel good.

Speaker 1:

But what happens a lot of times in marketing is that we're so focused on what feels good. We're not looking at the data to see what's actually going to move the needle and drive sales. And while a freeway billboard feels good, there really isn't a point of having such a deep investment in that type of marketing tool if you don't have other below the line items that are giving touch points, consumer touch points, brand awareness. Really, a freeway billboard is not where you should be building your brand awareness. It's where you should be building your brand, loyalists who are already aware of your brand, and this is something that I have to scale back.

Speaker 1:

So, when I talk about above the line programming or advertising, that's going to be anything you can't touch when you're at the site of purchase. So a billboard, a commercial on TV, a bus, you know, a magazine ad, all those out of home radio ads I want to focus more and I talk about this in my book at where is your consumer at the point of purchase? Are they at home? Are they on their phone? Are they in a grocery store? Where are they? This is where we need to be targeting our marketing. First, that's going to be from pricing strategies, that's going to be, yes, of course, graphic, creative advertisements as well, but let's look at the channel of which your consumer is purchasing your product or service, so we make sure we're targeting them there instead of doing things like TV commercials and freeway billboards that make us feel good.

Speaker 2:

What are the metrics that you deem as successful, and maybe the leaders? That's always a tough one for marketing. I mean, I'm not a marketing person per se. I am a marketing person. I was a brand, I was an entrepreneur, but I was always in the operations side and I always gave the marketing people a hard time. I just said they like to spend money, but what's a successful metric for marketing that lets the organization know we're winning?

Speaker 1:

Well, I will say, john, that I completely agree with you. I have an operational mind within a marketing space. So the moment we're arguing about the color, of blue.

Speaker 1:

The moment we're arguing about the color of like is it going to be light blue or dark blue I start to my eyes glaze over. I don't care about arguing about Pantones. That's where my branding and creativity just stops and creativity just stops. I want to focus on what's going to actually move the needle, and I like working in tandem with operational teams because they directly impact a marketing team's efficacy. I have had campaigns that went live before the product did. That's not always a good thing, by the way. That might sound like a good thing, but when you have available now and it's actually not available now because there was miscommunications and the advertisement went live and we weren't able to change to creative but there was a backup on the operational side, that is a problem and especially in the alcohol industry, which is, as I mentioned, completely complex and requires a lot of third-party logistics, third-party vendors it's important that the operations are pretty seamless and include the marketing team. So I agree with you there In terms of what is going to be the most strategic positioning from a marketing standpoint and making sure that you're getting the greatest ROI.

Speaker 1:

It is a soft science. It's not going to be an obvious input output in terms of direct ROI. When you're creating an effective omni-channel ecosystem for your marketing, you're not going to know if it was a social media advertisement, the clicking of the Google link, the billboard, whatever it may be, that created that final decision of a purchase. But what you will know is your cost per impression at each channel. So by building ways of creating analytics, so, for example, ab market testing, you do the exact same marketing in both markets, but one gets a billboard, one doesn't. Then you'll know the cost of that billboard in a comparable market. It's by leveraging the data analytics, which is a little difficult to do when we're in the three-tier system, because the product is sold three times before it reaches its end user, which creates a very complex business system. But nevertheless there should be marketing that's happening within each purchase as well.

Speaker 2:

I love that and I know it's hard. Marketing is and, again, I've softened toward them in my age in terms of marketing but I know that it's not easy to measure success, and so you've now got your book out. You've invested a lot of time with those organizations as an employee in that industry the alcohol industry but you're starting to build, you know, ultimately your own personal brand as well. You now have a podcast that is out there. You have your own personal website, instagram, youtube. You have a lot of things that you're building on a personal level as well. What is it that you know you see going forward for you, your vision in terms of you, what the impact that you want to have utilizing these resources? And maybe one more thing is like, within those, a favorite story that you have with building your own personal brand. It could be an interview that you did, could be a blog that you wrote or something that you created that you feel really good about.

Speaker 1:

Well, thank you for this. This is an interesting one. I think I'm still in the process of being able to give you the succinct answer you deserve. My decision to build what we'll call my personal brand it's happened over time. I would say you could even take it back to the fact that you know I wrote on the.

Speaker 1:

I was writing for the newspaper in high school and I started my own, we'll say, column where I'm sharing my thoughts, telling stories and just offering a very earnest perspective of what life as a high schooler at an all girls Catholic school can look like. And um, I really only joined the newspaper team because I would see people read the newspaper and just throw it away. They wouldn't even like, they would glance at it and toss it. And I was horrified because I loved reading magazines and newspaper and I'm thinking these students spend so much time like we need to rebrand this newspaper and um. And so that was one of them and I thought about using a pseudonym and we went back and forth on it. And so that was one of the first conversations about branding, because what my advisor said was no, no, no, you can't make a pseudonym. What's going to attach students to your column is going to be your name and what they know you as If you're using a pseudonym, they're going to assume it's a teacher writing or someone else, and so this idea of being earnest and authentic and upfront. You spend two minutes in a room with me. You know that I'm very comfortable and confident and lead with my, you know, chest held high, or my head held high and my chest out, but I will say, as you mentioned, with my book cover, which has my face on it, which was an interesting choice.

Speaker 1:

I think that that's been a little bit different, you know, leaning into what the Ella Parler brand is versus who Ella Parler the person is. I've made it a little bit easier by creating Ella, your Bella, the idea of there's at least a little bit of separation from my soul in terms of, you know, that personification of myself online. But I also know that a gift that I have that I wish so many more of us did and it's a little altruistic of me is that you can put me in a room with anyone and, as long as they're not physically going to harm me, like outside of that right, I can get along with them, talk to them, learn about them, connect with them. It doesn't matter what they look like, where they came from, who they're voting for president, it doesn't matter if they did time in prison, it doesn't matter if they've ever murdered someone.

Speaker 1:

These are all types of people that I've interacted with and I can see the good in everybody and truly create a connection, because I'm of the mindset that more of us are alike than not, and so because I live that in my daily life and I try to lead that way in my work, I now am taking it a little bit further and really trying to call out to people like hey, can we all live in our authenticity? Can we just be honest about our human experiences? Can we tell our stories? And I'm doing that by taking the first step, by living in my authenticity and telling my stories.

Speaker 2:

Love that and I can sense that as well Just in the short amount of time we've had a chance to chat that you have the ability to build relationships and to care for others in the words that you have, and I think that's something that will go and help you a lot as you build that personal brand. So let's bring that full circle and maybe look backward a little bit as the impact that you want to have, what advice would you have for aspiring leaders? Maybe not to sell invisible dresses to make an impact, but they're just starting their journey and they want to have a significant impact. What advice do you have for them?

Speaker 1:

In short, read Jill Geisler's book how to Be an Effective Leader what effective leaders know. I would say that that's a big one. And another one that's a little bit more tangible and we'll say fun is do a stand-up comedy class or an improv class, because that's where you'll learn how egotistical you really are and when you can get in touch with your ego and recognize it. That's when you can work a little bit harder to make sure that you're not leading with your ego. And I think that stretching yourself into something as uncomfortable as public speaking, plus trying to make people laugh during public speaking, will put any leader in a position of having a deeper compassion, understanding of working outside of your comfort zone. So I just I always try to encourage anyone to get the gumption to put themselves in an uncomfortable position like that.

Speaker 2:

Holy smokes, have you done that? Then an improv class, have you? Have you done that yourself?

Speaker 1:

Oh, of course yes.

Speaker 2:

I actually. I did a standup.

Speaker 1:

I did a standup competition, really just to prove a point, cause there were no other female and other females in the competition and I was frustrated by that and so I was like I'm just going to be the female voice. And then I ended up winning, which I did not expect because these were actual comedians who had it and I was just a girl with a cause. But I went up there and I was silly and I had no, I think again on the note of ego, I knew I wasn't going to win. I wasn't there to do anything but make people laugh. I wasn't trying to win and I think that that again, authenticity probably came out and maybe I was a little bit more relatable. But when I won I was horrified. I did not expect that. It wasn't the most favorable reaction from the comedians backstage who knew I was just there to be the only female voice. And, yeah, I decided I would just quit while I was ahead and be the only comedian of all time to not be heckled off stage. So that is one of my accolades I won a stand-up comedy competition. But, yeah, after that I did a few improv classes because it was a very different type of experience that I would strongly. Yeah, after that I did a few improv classes because it was a very different type of experience that I would strongly again if you want to be a leader, if you want to know how to command a room, if you want to know how to get in touch with your audience because as a leader, you're always selling something.

Speaker 1:

You might be selling your product, your company, to another bigger company. You're selling yourself as a belief in a leader to your team, whoever it is. When you are in a leadership position, you are going to also be in a sales position, selling a new technology. I've had to do that a lot for companies where we already bought the technology. It's happening, guys, but I need to sell them on it so they actually adopt it. When you're in a leadership position, you're going to have to sell and I think that going into something as uncomfortable as public speaking and improv space will really give you the opportunity to learn a little bit more about yourself.

Speaker 2:

Excellent, unsolicited advice. Go ahead and put that improv win in your bio as well, so that folks know that that'll create quite an interesting conversation in and of itself. Very cool, ella, what a great conversation. I already look, I look over and I know I've gone way over on the time that I asked you to commit to the best way for folks to stay in touch with you and to get a copy of your book when would you send them?

Speaker 1:

Yes, you can get a copy of my book wherever you like to buy books, so that could be Amazon, walmart, target, barnes and Noble your local favorite independent bookstore. You can go ahead and order High Tolerance there or just go to EllaParlercom. It's the best way to get in touch with me.

Speaker 2:

I'm on all the social medias Ella Parler or Ella your Bella but EllaParlercom will have whatever channel you're looking for Excellent, great way to connect, and I'll put the links to the show notes to both your book and to your website as well. It's been a great conversation. I'm giving you the last word here in just a minute. I wish you the best in your book sales and going forward with other things that you'll be doing. My last question is always the same I'll give you a billboard. You already talked about the billboard. I don't know how much value they have for you, but you know billboards, but you get to put your message on it. And what message are you going to put on the billboard and why do you put that message on there?

Speaker 1:

Because I repeated it to a lot of clients recently because I heard it from someone during my book writing process which is, if it were easy, everyone would do it. When you make the decision to innovate, when you make the decision to build something, when you make the decision to take a risk in any capacity, you're doing something that isn't easy. So stop expecting it to be easy and just get it done, because if it was easy, everyone will be doing it. And if everyone's doing it, then it's probably not that profitable. So, or moving the needle the way it needs to. So I think that's a mantra we can all afford to listen to. Whether it's writing your book or starting a business, you can't expect it to be easy. You just know that it needs to get done.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, Ella. You've been a great guest. I know the folks who have listened in are going to have value from this. Thank you very much. Best wishes. Thank you, John. Who have listened in are going to have value from this. Thank you very much Best wishes.

Speaker 1:

Thank you, John.

Speaker 2:

And that wraps up another episode of the Uncommon Leader Podcast. Thanks for tuning in today. If you found value in this episode, I encourage you to share it with your friends, colleagues or anyone else who could benefit from the insights and inspiration we've shared. Also, if you have a moment, I'd greatly appreciate if you could leave a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform. Your feedback not only helps us to improve, but it also helps others discover the podcast and join our growing community of uncommon leaders. Until next time, go and grow champions.