6 - John Sharp - Character coach, mentor on influence, values, and impacting the next generation

Like John Sharp often does on Sunday mornings, He really brought it for us in this episode of the Uncommon Leader Podcast

John dropped some fantastic value-adders in this episode including:

• "Our past failure does not determine our future potential"
• How to not let fear keep you from sharing with others
• Stop focusing on what we can't do and focus on what we CAN do!

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Transcript

0:26

Welcome back Uncommon Leader podcast listeners. I've got a treat for you today. An interview with a friend of mine who's had a big impact on my life. John Sharp. When I talk about personal development plans with coaching clients, I often talk to them about the seven areas of their life that they need to develop plans to work. I often refer to those as the seven F's family, fun, finances, friendship, fitness, faith, and your future. Everyone needs a coach for each of those domains. I've had a few on my journey and today's guest has had a huge impact on my faith journey. He's also been a friend of mine. John's been a mentor to me. He's a great father and a great. And as you'll hear a character coach to many, so I hope you enjoy my conversation with him today. Let's get started. All right. All right. All right. Welcome John Sharp to the uncommon leader podcast. That's great to have you on the show here today. How are you doing? Man, it is great to be with you, my friend. I know I w I know I, I invest in, in and enjoy the time that we spent together when we're in person. And it's always good to catch up like this as well. So I appreciate you agreeing to kind of share a little bit with our audience to help them grow in their leadership. I'm going to start you out at the same question and I start every podcast with, and that's a story about you really. And tell me something that impacted you in your youth or childhood or as a young person that still impacts how you are. Yeah, absolutely. So my parents, I was like maybe some other people, my parents drug me to church every single week. Every time the doors were open and sometimes I hated it and sometimes I didn't mind it, but by the time I got to middle school, That put me in a youth ministry being directly relating to some, some great youth directors, some great youth leaders, some great youth pastors, and those folks just start pouring into my life and completely. Changed me completely helped develop and mold where I am today. And then I met a guy when I was moving into my senior year in high school that became a mentor and a lifelong friend. And he and I had a lot in common, including my love for flying airplanes. And we started hanging out and flying a little bit together and he started pouring into me. And even today, he and I are wonderful. And I absolutely wouldn't be where I am today without people pouring into me. And that's, that's part of what I love to do now as a result. Oh, I liked that too, John. And one of the things that I talk about, even with, with some of my clients or some of the coaching that I do, I refer to a plan that we have called the greatest story ever told. And one of the things. About the greatest story ever told is people who have impacted your life. And when somebody asks a question like who had an impact on your life, you write their name down on that list. And as a result of them pouring into you, there are likely going to be people who write your name on their list in the future as well. Someone is going to impact on you like me, that you, I would have you on that list as somebody who's been in my life. So I appreciate that story when somebody pours into, you can have that, and it's not always apparent, but somebody that pours into you when you're young has, can have a lifelong impact as you go through that. Absolutely. And you mentioned, you mentioned that. Kind of dive into that a little bit. You mentioned about where you are today as well. So choosing to follow the path of being in ministry, that's a, that's a, that's a calling that, that you chose and is really powerful. And I'm curious how you. Came to that decision. Was there something in your heart that said it's time for you, that you wanted to be in ministry and you wanted to go forward with that because as you say, you had a passion for flying. And I think at one time you said you actually wanted that to be part of your career. And then you changed over to ministry. Tell me a little bit about that. Yeah, that's right. So my dad was a pilot. My whole life, he had gone in the air force and flew F for reconnaissance spiders. And then after he got out of the military, he was a commercial pilot and he taught me how to fly when I was young. So, so flying was always just deep inside. What I loved and, and really just became all I want to be about. And when I hit about early high school God started working in my heart and I, I started really struggling what I wanted to do in life. And kind of the question became, John, do you want to chase your own dream? Do you want to chase your own aspirations and make yourself happy? Or are you going to follow God and listen to what he wants you to do? And ultimately find truthful film? Because I believe as a Christian really only God can give us truthful fulfillment. And so. Thank goodness. I chose to set aside what I was chasing for awhile and follow what I felt like God wanted me to chase. And it's been just a dream. It's been amazing. I love what I do. I love what God's allowed me to be a part of in my life. And getting to hang out with guys like you is just a icing on the cake every day. Well, that's, that's what I appreciate so much because I think that's, I think that's also messages, whether it's in the ministry or not, but messages. Young people need to hear as they're coming out or even leaders that have been in their vocation for a while that really following where your heart is telling you where you want to go versus what society is telling you. You need to do to climb the ladder, to get the next promotion, to make as much money as you can, to have all the stuff that you want, houses and cars and things like that that are. Our communities, our world, frankly, needs more people to follow their heart when it comes to something like that. So again, I'm glad you followed your heart because of the impact you've had on me. And I know the impact you've had on our family, and I hope that that other people hear what power was in that to follow your heart, to follow the message, the purpose that you've been called to do call by God. To influence and make a change in the world. So I appreciate you sharing that story as well as I was just listening to your response to the first question, and it really kind of popped into my mind how you kind of chose. I know we've talked about that before, but I I'm glad that our listeners get to hear that a little bit as well, so, okay. Let's, let's shift into what you and I had actually talked a little bit about in terms of going forward. So one of the titles, quote, unquote, that you have. His pastor, no doubt about it. And that's not necessarily, you're not a pastor at a church today, and we'll talk about that maybe in the future, but another title that you have quotes around is a character coach. So tell me what is a character coach and how did you get into that? Tell me what it is. Yeah, absolutely. So you know, these days, most public schools have to move away from things like having team chaplains, which is basically like a team pastor just to stay. PC, whatever you want to call it, which is fine. But FCA fellowship of Christian athletes developed a position that is called a character coach that can come alongside coaches and teams in schools and help. Not only teams and students develop in their athletic ability and develop as a, as a team to try to win games. But ultimately most coaches would agree that we, as we work with students, as we work with teenagers, we want to see their character and integrity. Develop as well because that's what lasts a lifetime may very rare for you. High school athletes will make it to the next level of college athlete and a minuscule percentage of those will ever make it into the professional ranks, but we need to be focused on. Truly helping students become people that are productive, good citizens with character and integrity trustworthiness. And so that's what I do as a character tapes. I hope I helped a teams and coaches focus on the, the humanity aspect of the team and teamwork. John, I appreciate you doing that as well. I mean, I know, and you're right. Whether you call it PC political correctness in our world today, we have. Word woke that sits around there, but, but some of these kids as well, they don't have that influence in their life that they really need. And coaches can play that role. And whether that's their, their head football coach or their athletic trainer or their basketball coach, wherever that is, whatever sport they're involved in. But having another voice there that can be a strong character influence in their life. Can be really important. Certainly as each of the coaches give you the opportunity to participate by being a character coach or again, whatever you end up calling. I, I, I was actually going to ask about that because it has the feel of a teen chat. But in today's world, you can't really call it a chaplain because it gets such frowned upon. But the values that exist, there are character integrity, humanity that you're talking about are so, so needed in some of the youth, in our schools that they may not get while they're at home So when you think about your opportunity to work with students or coaches, how do, how do you approach them? When, when you see an opportunity to approach them, what is, what is a way that has you get involved with. Yeah, absolutely. So, yeah, first of all I'm just there to, to walk with coaches and walk with students and take each day, take each task, take each challenge, take each obstacle as it comes and then help. Speak into it with a perspective that maybe might not be natural to a student, maybe, possibly not even a coach, you know, an other perspective. You know, I personally believe as Christian that Truth character, honesty, integrity, cooperation, teamwork, those aren't human made character traits. Those, those are actually God made character traits. And so while I don't crack the Bible and preach a sermon to our team what I do. Do is help speak into situations in life and talk about how there might be a higher purpose here and what we're learning. Now, the Bible tells us to consider it joy when we face trials of various kinds, because of the testing of our faith produces perseverance and man, Athletic seasons are full of trials. They're full of, of tests. You know, you lose a big game. You still have to come back the next day, practice and get ready for the next big game. A couple of days later, how are you going to stand up to that challenge? Are you going to crumble under it? Are you going to learn the lessons that, that trial was able to teach you and persevere and grow from it for the next time? And that's what I've seen our, our students learn to do. And I've been pretty. John. I, I love that and stores against seeing them be able to do that. And let me ask you like more of a personal question within that. Cause I know it's not as easy as you make it sound would have been some of the challenges that you've you've come across as you've been trying to pour into their lives. Are there any specific situations that have been a challenge for you? And whether it's a student or a coach, whatever that is, what's, what's a story that you've had. That's been a real challenge because it's not. While we, and while the words flow off and the impact you have as positive, it's probably not as easy as you make it. No, absolutely not. You know, we've our, our schools face so many different things that students have to deal with. Even things that maybe you and I back in our day didn't necessarily have to deal with. But I know over the last few years alone, we've had several instances where students and the local high school has passed away from a illness. And. And it really impacted all that students class, all, all the players on my team. And I can remember one specific time us convening for our next practice, right after that that students passing and how heard it, how hurt, how emotional some of our players were. And what do you say. What did he say at a time like that? Sometimes it's not about having all the answers. Sometimes it's not about the formula. Sometimes it's just about being with, with people, being with students and letting them know that you're there, letting them know that you care, letting them know that how they feel is important to you. And, and sometimes just saying a prayer and reminding them that, that there is a God that loves. And a God that cares for them. And one that can bring peace in the storm. Love that. I know certainly that as you talk about those challenges of the school that we attend a cave spring high school that, that you've worked at they've, they've had many challenges like that with, with the loss of. A fellow student that can be, can be very challenging to have an impact. And the other side of not being easy as almost on the adult side as well, and them, you know, really wanting to have a similar impact as you. So you get the title of character, coach, you get the hat of pastor or chaplain that's there, but what, what advice do you have for those who. Want to have an influence, but are really just afraid to really have an impact or get in, get into the game. If you will, with students and have an impact on their life. What do you, what advice would you have? Yeah. Yeah. I know a lot of times just someone feeling like they don't have the right information, they don't have all the answers. They don't feel like they could write a curriculum or a program may keep them from participating. And I just challenge people. You know what students just care that someone else cares about them. And, and our amount adults that you have decades of experience, life experience that these students could could learn from that these students could maybe glean some insight from and help them and their next step of their journey or help them not make a mistake. And it's really cool too. You know, to be talking with a team and to think back of a moment in my athletic opportunities in high school, maybe maybe a specific failure or a challenge and you know, how we overcame or what we learned, or maybe even reminding them that, that a loss of a game or a losing record in a season will not define you and your future. As a matter of fact, one of our pastors shared a couple of weeks ago and a message that our past failures don't determine our future potential. I think if adults could just pour into students, even a nugget like that, your, your, our, our team's past failure does not determine your future potential. You would put great, great, great contributions into students of today. And you know, another thing I love doing is just being able to work with adults and coaches and to see the, impact that we can make in, in other adults lives around this as well. That's been pretty. Well, that's the right. Not, it's not just the players, right. Or not just the students, but you also get a chance to impact those other coaches but how about how about a story about a coach you've been able to him. Yeah, absolutely. So, ah, I've loved and getting to know our coaches, I've loved working with our coaches and, and just being a part of the team. I'm just, I'm viewed now just as, just as one of the coaches and I, I traveled to as many games as I can. I hang out with them in the off season workouts as much as I can, but one of our basketball coaches that we work with. Is a passionate, just very emotional leader and influencer. And he's been known in the past for getting so excited and so emotional that. It's not uncommon to see clipboards broken in the middle of a game and loud words that maybe we wouldn't speak to our younger children uttered in a, in a, in a huddle during to time out. And so we started working together on ways the weekend, rechannel that energy in a positive way. And minimize the book, broken clipboards use different words in the English, English, English language. They can still get across the message that we want and motivate our students in a positive way. And it's been really cool, even, even the students and parents begin to see the, the, the, the emotions being channeled in a more positive way. We finally got to the place where the whole season went by. We didn't break a single clipboard and. I didn't have to, you know, go grab him and and you know, calm him down. So that's been really exciting and I love seeing almost a whole school glean some things in that nature. Absolutely. And you see that, I mean, in terms of the, or they see that in terms of the behavioral shift and when you can move that energy in a more positive yeah. It absolutely has a different impact as you say, on both the students and even the parents and fans in the stands as well. I love you sharing that story and we'll see. Maybe we'll get a comment from that code. On the podcast on the bottom or something like that, we'll share it with them. No doubt that you've had an impact, but I mean, even summarizing some of the things you've said all the way through the story and a character coach, the challenges that you face, the frankly, the benefits though, that are much greater than those challenges. You know, one of the things I heard and summarize what you have advice for adults that are trying to get in there is to share your stories. And you've got stories from the past that you can share with these people that are going. That they would, they would be impacted. And what I like about that as well, and it's even something that I've heard over the past few months, having two sons that are, that are older out of college now, but you know, really just starting to get into the workplace with their roles and they see others, not just their parents has influenced they're looking for influencers in their life. So I know that the difference you're making is really big in the lives of those students. And they'll remember that for a long time. Other thing I heard was people don't care how much, you know, until they know how much you care. And that's a John Maxwell code. I'm sure others have used it before, but you really talked about that. The students just want to know that you care about them, that you're there and not just having them on the basketball court there for practice four days a week and two basketball games. But that you care about them as individuals as well. And then really the last summary point. So I think was really a great quote. And you said it a couple of times was our past failures do not determine our future potential. And that's so true. I mean, if we can learn to build on those failures, cause we're always going to fail there. Aren't going to be times when God gives us everything that we ask for and we have to, we have to work for what we get forward and we have to build on those failures so that we can share our stories. And so that we can become better on a regular basis as well. So you've got a lot of good nuggets in there. John even even use the word uncommon and a behavior in terms of the name of the podcast, which was really cool. So I appreciate you sharing about that. Let me shift as we kind of come to the close of our time. And asked you a question just about your personal time development journey right now and how things are going for you. But what is it that you're doing to continuously grow as a leader right now? What are some habits maybe that you're putting in place or disciplines that are working for you? Maybe some that aren't working for you as you look to grow in your leadership. Yeah, absolutely. I am. I'm always looking for the next book to read. I'm always looking for the next summit seminar conference event that I can go hear from practitioners. Hear from people that have been the next step down the road from where I. And learn from them. Podcasts have been a spectacular evolution over the past few years. You can find a podcast on anything. I love to smoke meat and barbecue, and I'll listen to podcasts and videos on that. And it like translates into making me a better cook and my family recognizing it. So as I. As I do life, I just tried to look a few laps down the road and try the best I can to discover some of the things that I'll have to navigate and then learn into vans. There's never a shortage of books, podcasts, summit seminars, and, and one more thing I always try to do. I try to, I try to find a practitioner that's older than me has more experience than me and in a particular place or area of life that I'm about to travel or that I have some challenges coming up and, and just rubbed shoulders. Take them out to lunch, grab a cup of coffee, ask them questions write down answers. I never stopped learning from people that, that have experiences that I feel like I can glean from. And those are pretty spectacular ways to, to sharpen the store. Man, the Bible says as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another and I'm always looking for guys to rub shoulders with that. We can sharpen each other and, and I love that. And I listen, you know, again, what you're saying is that there are people that influence you from many directions. I know you and I are regulars on the the pellet wood, pellet smoker, front as well. And we're a little bit of a co even a competition that exists right there, but we love sharing our stories. And that's actually a space that people can stay caught up with you as well, in terms of what you're learning. And I, and I love that tip about finding someone who's got more wisdom than you, and just ask them questions, take them out to lunch, buy them a cup of coffee and just ask them as many questions as they'll allow you to ask, stay focused on them for, for the time so that they can. Impart some of that wisdom that they have through their journey, through their failures. That's really been something that's been impactful for them. Alrighty. Last question, John, you get to finish it off. You get the light last word and I'm going to let you put it on a billboard as well. So what's the mantra that you live by, that you want to post on a billboard for everybody to. Oh, that's a good one. Well, being a Christian I've got a life verse. A lot of people have a life saying life mantra. I've got a life verses Jeremiah 29 11. It says, I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord plans to prosper you and not to harm me plans to give you hope and a future. And I love that because I don't even know what's coming up five minutes from now. And I find I find great joy in knowing that there's a God that loves me, that he already has a plan written out for my life and he doesn't want to keep it secret for me. The other thing about that is you know, God rarely, when he talks about plans to. To to prosper you not to harm you, that word prosperity in America means money. You know, getting rich, a bigger house, nicer car all that type thing. But, you know, I find that it's more about joy and fulfillment. And we do that when we find that when we chase our dreams, that God's planted in our hearts and when we seek to, to make this world a better place. And when we seek to help other people sooner than we seek to get it for them, And and so that's been pretty cool. And it just, one more thing, you know, we've all been dealing with this for gosh, seems like forever with COVID but I, I just got tired of talking about what we can't do. You know, I coach people all the time and help people work, walk through next steps and strategies and just. All right. I'm sick of talking about what we can't do because of this, that COVID whatever. And so I just start telling me, Hey man, I'll still talk about what we can do. Let's talk about what we can do, because there was tons of things that we can do. As a matter of fact, there's some really cool things that we can do that we couldn't do two years ago because of the circumstances that we've been through and say, let's utilize those and make this thing work, make this world a better place. Let's become more effective and efficient and find more joy in the journey while. Amen brother, John, I appreciate you sharing for the past few minutes. I look forward to continuing our growth and I want you to be well, okay. My privilege, man, my honor. Thanks for letting me hang out with your breath. Like John often does on Sunday mornings. He really brought it for us today as well. Of them here. some really cool points for us. And I just wanted to summarize a few. One of the best quotes I heard during the time today was really pointing when he talked about having a conversation with individuals and not being afraid of. Talking with them about how they can grow and how they can get better was that our past failure does not determine our future potential. No doubt about that. Some of those failures that we have in the past, we absolutely should be learning from those and partaking that wisdom on others. So they don't make the same mistakes. And his mantra so pointed at this time. Stop focusing on what we can't do. And start focusing on what we can do. So listeners, what can you do right now to have an impact on a person this week? Go out and do it. Now, I've got a couple of other requests for you. If you enjoyed this episode, why don't you share with someone who you think might need to hear it? Also, if you're interested in catching up on our past episodes, you can visit my website@growingchampions.net slash podcast. And you can subscribe to start receiving future episodes automatically in your inbox each week. I certainly would like this podcast to reach even more people. So if you were able to share it on social media, And let folks know that you like it, or if you listen on iTunes, Once you drop down to the bottom of this one, it give us a rating. Also a few words on why you'd like to listen to this. It helps us get it. Hands up more people. Folks until next time go and grow champions.