16 - Kristen Gielow - Dream It, Plan It, Work It!!

Welcome back uncommon leader podcast nation. I've got another fabulous interview with another Uncommon leader,  Kristen Gielow. Kristen has been an executive coach for the past 16 years and has been  the owner of decision coaching, LLC for nearly 14 of those 16 years.

In this episode, Kristen shares some great tips for leading and leading teams in our new work, from home or remote culture that we've been in for such a long time now seems like forever.  Some key things that Kristen shared during this episode:

• Have a plan, Have systems, Execute the plan 
• Good questions come from ACTIVE listening
• Start with WHY
• Our culture's move away from servanthood
• "We have only one life.  Live it well"

Kristen was on point this entire conversation. I know you will enjoy it. 

You can stay in touch with Kristen by visiting her website at www.decisioncoaching.us

Kristen mentioned a couple books in this episode that she likes. You can find them here:

1) The Bible
2) Seven Levels of Communication
3) When People are Big & God is Small

Thanks for listening to this week's episode!  You can catch up on previous episodes at

www.growingchampions.net/podcast

Until next time, Go and Grow Champions!!

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Did you know that many of the things that I discuss on the Uncommon Leader Podcast are subjects that I coach other leaders and organizations ? If you would be interested in having me discuss 1:1 or group coaching with you, or know someone who is looking to move from Underperforming to Uncommon in their business or life, I would love to chat with you. Click this link to set up a FREE CALL to discuss how coaching might benefit you and your team)

Until next time, Go and Grow Champions!!

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Transcript

0:01

Buckle up for the uncommon leader podcast, just friends hanging out and breaking down leadership challenges and unwrapping techniques that can be applied to make a difference. A fun look at what is possible. If we lead in an uncommon way, an invitation to be the champion we were created to be not your typical leadership podcast. Who is ready for another great episode of the uncommon leader podcast. Welcome back uncommon leader podcast nation. I've got another fabulous interview with an uncommon leader. Kristen Gila. Kristen has been an executive coach for the past 16 years and has been the owner of decision coaching, LLC for nearly 14 of those 16 years. And this episode, Kristen shares some great tips for leading and leading teams in our new work, from home or remote culture that we've been in for such a long time now seems like forever, but I know you'll enjoy the interview. So let's get started. Hello,Kristen, welcome to the uncommon leader podcast. I want you to say hello to my listeners, which are really going to enjoy hearing from you. And then follow that up with telling our listeners a story a little bit about you, maybe from your when you were younger, that still impacts who you are as a leader. Thanks, John, thank you for having me here. I really appreciate the opportunity to come speak and hello to everybody out here. Listening. As John mentioned, I'm Kristin, Gilo been in the coaching chair, go getting ready to jump into my 17th year. And I guess it all starts from what brought me to coaching to begin with. I believe that. Every path, every real opportunity from my very, very first job, all the way up into where I am today led me to be the type of leader that enjoy. Helping people make good decisions. It's the essence of why I started the company decision coaching, really focusing on how we lead and influence others to making the decisions they need to make in life. Some of those decisions aren't going to come out. Right, right. John, we know that we do make bad decisions and we do make the wrong decisions at times, but I've always had a passion. And if I look back and track the life that I've had. They've all led up into me, sitting at the seat where I can lead others to help them make a decision. No, I think that's pretty cool. I listen to that. It's so interesting to talk about this decision-making and helping folks get there. Cause there are decisions that. Good decisions. And then there are decisions that we learned from my John Maxwell would say, we either win or we learn. And so those decisions that we learned from that we respond to, and I'm sure you're teaching your clients how to respond from the decision. That didn't quite go the way they wanted them to go. I appreciate you sharing that and I know that in the space that we live today, that you get a chance to talk with a lot of people. And you've got, as you said, 16 or 17 years in that coach's chair where you have a chance to chat with people about how they're doing, we've just gone through and I hope we're on. Other side of what was a significant those of you who are listening. If you're listening a couple of years from now, I hope we're totally out of COVID, but right now we've just come out of COVID. And really from the standpoint of individuals going back to work, they've gotten used to working from home. Many organizations are not going back to work as much as they were and allowing a remote. Option in terms of work and the leaders of the organizations are really struggling to connect with their teams as a result of that remote work environment that the Sarah and his very specific question that I had from listeners said, how do you engage with your teams in a remote environment to stay connected with them? And I figured who better really to talk to than somebody who's been really doing remote work for 16 or 17 years in the chair you've been in. So how is it that you coach others to stay connected with their teams from a remote. Well, first off, I think it's fair. And I should say upfront is I love remote work. I definitely love remote work. I've always been very process driven and I'm a very quality over quantity person. So the first key to remote connection is having a plan. Everything has to be about the plan. If we can actually create plans to being engaged with the people that we lead. And I don't really think it matters where we are now. I read a book forever ago and I'm, I'm so bad at remembering authors names, but it's the seven levels of communication and he talks about one-on-one face-to-face being the highest. Of productive communication and relationship building. And in the absence of that, John, we have to have systems like what you were at. All right now, zoom FaceTime. I'm an apple person. So I can't remember. I think it's called duo in the other. But just being able to have that connection, even if you can't be there and physically be in front of that person. So having a plan that keeps you in front of people consistently, but back to the process driven piece, you can write the plan. That means nothing. If you don't execute the plan and I am a huge component of putting them onto your calendar, if you actually look at my calendar right now, I will have touch points with each one of my clients, either as a recurring activity, it's all color coordinated. I understand like what energy I need to be in that plan consistently. So when I'm talking to my, my clients who are leaders, I encourage the same thing. We don't always have to be right in front of each other, but first seek to have some of that. One-on-one time. But the second thing is that create a plan that even if you can't be in front of them, you're connecting with them. So that's the first, that's the first piece I do want to dive in real quick to that second piece if I could. And absolutely thank you. The second thing that I feel is most important is getting to know your team, not based on what the team does for you in the role. But more of that dream manager piece, what are their goals? What are their struggles consistently meeting with them on a one-on-one basis and actually collaboratively as a team as well. And just understanding the dynamics. I just spent the weekend in Dallas and met with two different teams over the weekend and just being able to connect with them and then be able to connect with each other as they were learning and growing about each other and how that impacted the team itself was so powerful. But now we have to go back afterwards and say, okay, we're not going to get. Like we did today. So what does next week look like? How do you stay engaged with what's really important from a person on a personal level, way past what their role is and what they're doing for your organization. Wow. I love that. So again, the starting out with the plan with a second. Getting to know your team a little bit better. Let me, let me dive even deeper in a little bit of that ones. Because as a coach, I know one of the things you have to realize, or one of the things you have to do is ask a lot of questions. So to keep your energy level at a certain point, but you have to ask a lot of questions. What's maybe one or two of the favorite questions you like to ask them to get to know them better. How can, they do that? Because some people. Even in person, they struggle to connect with others. Right? What are the, what are the ways that you teach them to, to connect remotely? Well, the question questions I asked my clients are actually in a questionnaire before we even start working together. And, and that's some of the basic information and I always direct it toward life accounts. Right. W where are their relationship? Who are their relationships with? I like to think of it as how are they spiritually, emotionally, mentally relationally. So I always try to direct questions toward what I think would be interesting about them from a life plan standpoint. I love that. And you say life plan, I don't know, go into that a little bit deeper to what does that mean for you in terms of a life plan? Yeah, definitely. I think, I think there's probably 200 million ways to write a life plan for, for me, it's sort of the, the, the, what I've penned is first. Then you plan it and then you work it and it's, it's all about understanding how many different hats you wear. So those are life accounts, right. You know, I'm a mom and I'm a spouse and I'm a daughter and I'm a friend and I am a daughter of Christ and I own my own company and there's all. Pieces that make up me. And so I call those lights accounts, everybody calls those lights accounts, and I try to direct questions to figure out a little piece of each one of the accounts of my clients. And I always encourage leaders to do the same thing. Like find out about your people have a file on them. I mean, back in the old days, it used to be a physical file. Right. Physical file. Right. Now we haven't sold it yet Evernote or whatever those things are to, to really keep track of things that are happening and have it at your fingertips no matter where you are. And so I like to have my leaders really digging deep into their it, my clients digging deep into their leaders life plan account. I also think that good questions come from active listening. Sometimes someone says something and there's something more there. And I think, think when you can ask the question to find the answer of something that's not being said, I think it really shows people that you care for them. Well, that's, you know, some of the times when I'm in the coach's seat, you know, on the other side of the interview, Individuals that can be really powerful and, and you're know you're hitting it when they're done at the end, they say that kind of felt a little bit like therapy with regards to dig a little deeper. And I was listening to a podcast the other day, and there was an individual who talked about the number one. Question. That's a one word question that you can ask to get them to know more. And it's because it just allows you to go deeper without asking anything specific. It forces them into a deeper place to understand that and really learn. And I think that's a very important skill again, that I'm sure you've learned over over the years of coaching that you've done that are very powerful for your clients as well. And. You think about the different levels. And I know you coach Chick-fil-A operators, you coach leaders, you coach in the financial industry as well. And a lot of different pieces. I'm curious, what are maybe two or three tips that you would give leaders at that level on how to. Step forward, you talked about the plan. You talked about getting to know your team. You talked about even in the life account or life planning, dream it, plan it and work it, which I love that in terms of a plan to go forward but the tips that you have to re for them to get started with it, because, we don't, we don't, we don't know how to do a life plan. Once we get started, our life plan sounds really big how do you get them? Yeah. Well, I always start with the why first, because if you're a leader and you're leading a team and you just do it because while you listen to a podcast and someone told you to do it, but you don't have the heart behind it. I think that's hard. I think that, I think the, why is the most important question, because I think that's what connects you back when it gets to. I mean, it's going to get hard or you're going to be busy or you going to have four kids in three schools. Right. And you're just not gonna think about it. And so I always ask people to kinda, why is it important for you to connect on a deeper level for, with your team? In your industry in this time, like set the stage. So set the stage for yourself first and asking the why question. And then I think it's important to, I believe it's important to set boundaries for what it actually is that you're able to do it. You've probably heard this a hundred times, right? John, the rubber band theory, like we can stretch this far out. You can stretch. There's a point where stretching doesn't work and there's a point where. You get into the world of, should I should care? I should do this. I should do that. I think that, that doesn't, it's not an organic, authentic way of caring for people and really showing that you care people for people. I think you take it to what you need it to be. So it's going to look different for different people. Right now. You mentioned, I worked with a lot of Chick-fil-A operators. It's a tough labor market right now. And the, and the problem is, is that you need to show care, but if you ask 90% of the operators, why they get into the business, it's because they want to grow people. Like their chicken people, growing people, they're selling chicken where they're growing people. And so they already typically have that at the core who they are. But for those that maybe don't feel that, that pole there's gotta be a deeper why, but how you do it. Cause if not, it's going to look clunky or it's going to be robotic and robotic care is dangerous because you still keep people and it won't feel good for you. And you'll end up frustrated. Oh, And you'll live outside of what? Pat Lencioni calls like you're working genius. Right. Have you heard of the work? Yep. Yeah, absolutely. And you'll just end up just not, it just won't work the way you really want. So ask the why first create what the boundaries are, the guard rails or whatever word you want to put there, what they need to be like, what is possible? What do you like to do? If you don't like it all who can help, right? You've got people on your team that you may, you may be the vision visionary. You may be the person that creates the ideas of how to do this, but maybe you can't land the plane. So all of a sudden you've got people around you, but to create a process and a system, it takes more than one person anyways. No, absolutely. I mean there's, as you talking about those different life, Yeah, we talk about a coach almost as a generalist and part of our role feeling like a generalist and all those accounts, but there are specific individuals that can help you in each one of those areas whether it's fitness. And that was a big part for me, really, over the last four years. And I've had my trainer on here as well to talk to her about the pain. She's put me through over the last few years, but everybody needs a coach in those spaces where they're not the strongest. And there's a humility that is required to get there, but I love what you say in terms of, again, starting with the why, the, the dream, it is a big piece of that. And so if you can paint a picture of what good looks like five years out, 10 years out, 20 years out, then, then it really is something you can continue to come back to when you put that plan in place before. It's not easy. That plan will take time. That plan will take energy, as you said, and that plan will take discipline where the systems come in. If you don't have the systems that'll fall off and it won't be as exciting as it could be. Definitely. And, you know, since we talked about COVID right, and we're looking at how people can go from possibly a team environment to a remote environment, sometimes even for our high D disc clients sometimes. Okay. To just dream it for. Yeah, absolutely. They want to get there fast. Right? Part of the side, these drivers accomplished, they want to check up on. And get them there fast, but I mean, there's, there's probably times even with those high D clients that you're able to back them down over time, as you start to get them to think about that life plan, things, change, priorities, change boundaries. As you say change I, when you said set boundaries, one of the things that came to my mind is something that someone told me before as a friend who said, you can do anything you want, you just can't do everything you want. And so you got to understand what are the most important things and that, that development of the life plan can be extremely critical to helping individuals. Get an understanding what's really important to them. And if they don't make decisions based on those accounts, then it's just a facade and it's something there they're not really committed to. So I know you have challenges to get individuals going. I am curious that something in stories and individuals and without sharing names or anything else, you know, do you have a client story or someone you've coached that really just, makes you smile as you think about where they started and where they ended up on that. Oh, my gosh. Yes. I still remember one of my favorite clients long time ago came into highly successful lender, came into the coaching relationship, just broken in his relationships, and it took a long time for him to actually admit that. I think he was very, very proud of the success he had. And I remember in year two, getting a thank you note from his wife, just because he had prioritized her. And I just remember thinking, this is my why, like having, because it comes to decisions because it's easy to do what we're good at. Right. So we'll stick in that. And I don't mean working in genius. Good. I mean, like it's easy to go to work and. Push work through when you're really good at work, it's harder to go and have difficult conversations with people that we love that we have to have. And the brain's not wired to do that. The brain is always wired to take the easiest path. Right. Wow. Goodness gracious. I mean, there are so much, you just said in the last sentence there with regards to having conversations, you know, truth versus being nice. You know, having not just your head involved with that conversation. I mean, things that I'm making up about it and you've got to have your heart that's there so that when you give that feedback, now you're speaking truth and love to end the devotional. You have to do that as a coach, especially as a directive coach. Being able to tell someone to call, to call them on their BS when they're not getting the things done where they say, I mean, I all, yeah, I just didn't get to it this week. Okay. Tell me if it's important because we got to get there as we go forward so there's so many good things that are in what you said there. I love that. And I'm, you know, Part of that reminds me of a quote. I saw that you posted on, on LinkedIn recently that I, that I wanted to dig into a little bit, maybe shift gears and get, get my listeners to learn a little bit more about you. But you had, a quote on there, says be a, there you are a person in a, here I am world. And you had a, to me that's uncommon in leadership in people and who they are. And I believe it's call to be. And the question you had on there, you were asking others to come back to it, but I'll ask you the question that you asked others. What does that mean to you? Being a, there you are a person in a, here I am world. I think it stems from me being a mama for right now. Everybody is so interested in telling everybody else what they got going. Look at me here I am here. There's selfies. I legitimately can't stand most social media. Sorry. I legitimately can't I'm on Facebook because I want to connect with my family and friends that don't live near me, but I I'm very, very concerned. And you may, may didn't want to get this serious. So bear with me. I'm very concerned with the. With the future of our children's relational abilities. And that's why that was posted. I feel that we are moving away from having a servant hearts, to being a little narcissists in this constant quest of having everybody know everything about everything we are doing at any given time. And that makes me nervous because. It's the opposite of what we're talking about. Being able to maintain relationships. I mean, I'm seeing kids not able to maintain relationships. They don't know what really healthy, productive relationships look like. And same with leaders. They don't know because we live in this fast tracked, you know, 32nd video environments. And so that's exactly why I posted it. I felt like. If we can get back to what Christ came to do, which was, he came to serve the, if we can go back into a servant mindset, then maybe posting a video is not that big of a deal, but it can't be who we are. It's just gotta be a little piece of what we like, but not who we are. No, I, I love that into connecting it to the challenges that our social media and you having children in the house, you know, ranging from five to a freshmen in high school. I can imagine. That, that challenge. I mean, I would not want to go back to high school today or, or anything close to that with regards to how social media is. I'm glad it wasn't around when I was a kid. And then, you know, my, my sons are 25 and 22, so they've been part of that and still store there, but they're not very active on social media and that, even that connection. Read that quote online, you know, that what came to my mind is going into a room, not a social media, but into a room of new people and really being as you said, servant heart. So from the standpoint of how many times are you asking others questions about them versus telling them your story over and over again? And that's a very similar in that, that Instagram post of here's my selfie and here's where I am. Right. Very self-centered so becoming people centered versus, or people where other centered versus self-centered is so needed in our world today. There's no doubt about it. You know, John, there's a great book called again, will not remember the author when people are big and goddess. And it was recommended by Tammy London. Remember Tammy coach Tammy at building champions. She, she recommended to me because there was a time where I was, I had stage. Right. Very, very bad. I couldn't. It's interesting. Now I meet with teams and I just think about the times where it was very uncomfortable for me to do that, but it was all about this concept of when were. Giving we're doing public speaking, or when we're connecting with people, if we make it about us, then we're going to stress about it because we're going to, how am I talking? How am I looking? What am I wearing? And it's all about that knee piece. But when you take yourself and you make God bigger than you, then all of a sudden it isn't about you. And that, that quote resonated me with it as well, because of that book that I read in the past. So. No, I appreciate you sharing that as well. And actually almost led right into my next question. Maybe it's already there, but I'm going to ask it anyway. So we are coming around to the holidays. Something learned about you. I know you're a reader I can tell and putting those two books out there. But if you think about, if I told you, you could only have one book on your bookshelf anymore, what would that book be and will be the book that you gift the most to people to help them with regards to whether it's leadership or whether it's parenting or whatever it is. What's your favorite book that you like to gift or let people know. Oh, gosh, I mean, I hate this is going to sound so scripted, but it'd be the Bible. It would just have to be the Bible that literally it's the way to navigate every part of my life. So I would say the Bible another book book, gosh, that's a hard one because I think it's a real. I think there are so many great books, sort of like what you mentioned earlier, John, like, you've got a fitness coach. You could have a nutritionist. I think there's so many good books for so many. There's so many different things. So I'm still going to go with the Bible. I think it's all. Okay. Well, it's good. I, you know, I can tell you to tell you a story. Well, I won't tell it really quick, but I was given a Bible last October by a guy outside of a restaurant who didn't know me at all. He just heard me say something. The restaurant heard me talking to me. He said, I want to give this to you. And it was branch$70 Bible. And this year I've been reading that Bible in a year. First time I've ever gone through it in terms of reading the Bible in a year, which has been pretty cool. And I don't want to jinx myself and, and the 45 days I have remaining to get that done. And if you will check that box, but it's been transformative as well, so I can understand why that would be an important book. Well, Kristen, I think you've shared some nuggets for the listeners to really reflect on and make some improvement all the way back to when we started, you know, almost 25 minutes ago. Now I think time goes by really. With regards to that remote environment, but then really talking about that servant hood and how we need to be servant leaders. And I know, you've had an impact on me both from following you online and the bit that you do as well as meeting you a long time ago. So I appreciate that. I'll give you the last word. And it's the last question I always think about. So, and again, maybe it's an almost unfair question, but I'm going to give you a billboard in St. Louis there that millions of people are going to drive by. Maybe it's by the. Washington university exit that everybody drives by and 70 all the time. And you get to use that book billboard and put on it, whatever you want to with regards to a mantra or words that you want people to know about, what would you write on that billboard? Well, it's my favorite quote. You only get one life, then it will absolutely live it well. Excellent. Well, I think that that works out really well for a Finnish Kristen, how can people stay in touch with you? They can connect with me on my website at decision coaching. Happy to there's a lot of free resources for anybody that just wants to get great resources. And if they have any questions, let me know John. I am, I will tell you, I'm so grateful for you. I've been grateful for our connection, our friendship, our healthy. NFL. haven't had good things for the past couple of years, so that's okay. I'll see you there. I've been keeping myself very quiet, but I'm grateful for you. I know that the work you do matters, and I know the work that you do impacts people, and you need to know that and hear that. So thank you for all that you do to contribute. Well, I appreciate that Kristen. I have enjoyed the time and I want to thank you for being a guest on the uncommon leader podcast. We'll maybe we'll chat again soon. It sounds great. Have a great day. Well, I don't think that interview disappointed. As I said in the introduction, this was going to be fantastic and I could have gone on even longer with Kristen. She was on point the whole time. I want to summarize just a few. Nuggets that she shared with us today. First thing that I really took some notes on was to have a plan, have systems, and execute the plan, put it on the calendar. Very important to do in this remote environment that we live in today to do those three things, have a plan, have systems and execute the plan Second thing I heard was good questions come from active listening. As a coach, as a leader, as a mentor, you have to be a good active listener to be able to ask good questions. Third things you shared was start with why, if we don't understand what our, why is, it's very difficult going back to the first point to really worry about the plan, the systems and the execution of the plan. We've got to connect it to the. And at the end, she finished up with a phenomenal mantra when she talks about we've only got one life to live. Let's live it well. So I hope you enjoyed that interview with Kristen Gilo today. I know that I did. If you did enjoy it, I would appreciate if you'd share it with your friends. Or you can go out onto our website@growingchampions.net backslash podcast, and catch up on some of the old episodes. And some of the other interviews we've done with some on-command leaders, leave a comment. If you get a chance as well. I know that's something again, that helps to get it in the hands of more people to listen to. Until next time please go and grow champions.